I recently stumbled on an Instagram post about women who have had stillborn babies and it really gave me insight as to how much these women suffer emotionally and end up being traumatized. I decided to do some research about how losing a child can really affect the emotional state of a mother and the way she relates to her other kids.
Most women are often stigmatized after losing a child due to societal and cultural values and beliefs. In Nigeria and other African countries, people learn to push their emotions down and pretend to have no feelings so as not to be perceived as weak. mothers take up most if not all responsibility for the welfare of a child during pregnancy and can therefore be blamed for losing the child
“I felt really lost and ashamed after I lost my child. I felt like the nurses, my family and my friends blamed me for what had happened” Vivan says. Vivan is twenty-three years old entrepreneur who recently got married. ” I have always dreamed of being a mother and when I finally had the chance to be one, I couldn’t even hold one for long.” Vivian still deals with guilt and often feels like a failure. “My husband tries his best to comfort me but I can’t tell him that I’m afraid of getting pregnant again so I just go through my day as though nothing happened.”
Modupe, a mother of three, lost a child a couple of years ago and she still feels the absence of her baby. ” I hate my husband for moving on so quickly,” she says. “I try sometimes to bring up our dead child but he just brushes it off as me being overly emotional. I look at my children and wonder what the child I lost would have loved to eat, the games he would have loved to play, the sound of his voice when he calls my name and I realize how many things I had lost the chance of experiencing,” said said.
As a society and as individuals, we should try and be sensitive to the emotions of people around us. most times, we make people feel as though their emotions do not matter without even realizing it. Choose to care today.