Yes, there was a point in my life when I was a people pleaser. Every time, I had to struggle to please all. I believed that if I didn’t do what they wanted, they’d throw me out of their life. There was constant pressure in my head since I assumed that people would only like me and think of me as a cool person only if I do stuff for them.
I was only happy when others were pleased with me or my efforts. But deep down, I knew that I was doing wrong with my own self.
You’ll also realize that you aren’t living life on your own terms when you try to satisfy everyone. It only makes you feel like a worthless person since you’re surrounded by unpleasant, greedy, and judgmental individuals who, rather than appreciating that you’ve prioritized their needs, treat you like trash.Obsession of Trying to Please Others
Most of the time, I did go out of the way just to avoid the embarrassment of disapproval. Fear of disappointment, the anxiety of splitting up a friendship, the terror of what to do when someone begins to ignore me, all triggered me to become a people pleaser.Obsession of Trying to Please Others
But it doesn’t matter how I got it; what counts is how I got out of it. It’s pointless to sit and expect people to realize how much stress they bring on you or that they would one day reduce their needs, fuss, and incessant discomforts. Wishing and hoping isn’t just dumb; it’s simply negative if you don’t change your own attitudes.
Only you can bring a change in your life; no one will do it for you. That’s why I’m going to share some tips with you that helped me stop being a people-pleaser.Obsession of Trying to Please Others
1-Accept the fact that you won’t be able to please everyone:
“One of the most amazing truths we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, and no one has to like us, and that’s totally acceptable!”
These strong words affected my way of thinking, and I chose to start prioritizing myself.
Now, whenever my people-pleasing impulses kick in, I tell myself that it’s perfectly ok for people to dislike me. It’s impossible to please everyone all of the time!
2- You’re free to let it go:
You are not obligated to respond to every bad remark you get by email, social media, or in person.
You can simply remain silent, let it go, and move on.
Of course, this does not work in every scenario, but it is vital to remember that you do have this choice from time to time.
If you establish a few strong limits for yourself and occasionally say “no,” you will ultimately learn to do the same in front of others. Setting boundaries and prioritizing things allow you to concentrate on what matters most.
My message would be as follows:
It takes a long time to become used to taking up space, both physically and emotionally. I’m following my instincts and doing what I believe to be right. I’m pleased when I’m doing what I love. Stopping yourself from always thinking about what other people think isn’t going to happen overnight. But it’ll happen. And you’ll enjoy it.