Navigating through friendships

by Vrushali Khadilkar
5 minutes read

Today as a twenty-something, I will share how friendships from my teenage times changed as I entered into my young adulthood.  The twenties are the decade where you have to try and explore lots of things. You have to get involved in some things and let go of the rest of them. 

The history of friends

photo by Helena Lopes

The evolution of the person never stops.  While we try to gain success in all sorts of matters, the friendships we attempted to build over the years make us feel good and happy. Plans and dreams which were seen a long-time back faded away. For instance, the idea of traveling together to Spain and doing some dramatic stuff together faded away after becoming an adult and having money.  

As the first lockdown came last year because of the pandemic, I reflected on many things that stayed to calm me down and were present for me. I noticed that half of my friends, who now have become literal acquaintances, didn’t have any time to take up the call and chat for a while. 

We make friends as we go into some public place or somewhere where lots of public is involved such as school or colleges. These are the places where you come across many people regularly who you click with and vibe up with.

At that time, I used to think that these bunch of friends I made in school and at other activities would remain with me as I grow up. Always! I tried, and they too tried up to a specific limit to stay in touch.

Four-five years

photo by Red Light Films & Photography

But then it took the shape of awkwardness. It is like when we only take the first step, and the other person doesn’t. Things, e.g., not receiving the call and not reciprocating at all, started to appear. That seemed strange to my young mind, who always wanted to treasure school friendships.

Now, I only have one friend from school who stays in touch and has seen me grow. Similarly, I have seen her grow and become a more compassionate human being. Now she is conquering her dreams in the UK.   It doesn’t matter how much we speak each month; whenever we have a telephone call or text message, it starts with the same enthusiasm and craziness. I am very grateful for her constancy when we do connect.

There needs to be a friend who has earned that special place in our lives over the years. And similarly, we need to become that particular person first.   Friendship takes on the same quality as wealth ultimately.

Life after high school

photo by
RODNAE Productions

As I stepped into college and evolved, I tried to choose my freedom and made friends who gave me space to explore and were not nosey. I made more friends who were involved in extra-curricular activities as I used to be in them always. So, I had friends from different fields with grand ambitions.

Eventually, our group also shrank down to two.   Sharing our victories with acquaintances can be an okay experience. Still, when we hit rock bottom, it’s the solid, caring friend who always comes through as they know our victories and can pick us up during our downtimes.

The power of three

photo by
Magda Ehlers

Now I have three friends, and they are always there for me. Being with them and strengthening our connection makes my mood brighter instead of having many acquaintances. With my close friends, I can have honest conversations.

Well, now some fellow acquaintances are just Instagram viewers who share their stories and will show that appreciation by adding positive comments or agreeing on a position we might have. However, they might not know the right place of how we arrived at such a conclusion on a particular topic—hardly what someone would call a friend.   

As I wander through my twenties, I am navigating the space of how to build additional solid friendships and where I can learn to cherish like my current friends.  But if you don’t walk away with anything from this story (which I highly doubt 😊) there is so much to learn about friendships. The long process of developing the necessary skills will not always be somewhat of a challenge.

I want to tell people in their twenty-something, who experienced similar situations, that having few friends does not make your life less exciting. Having even one close friend is a blessing.

Always! Those are the friends you can count on…..

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5 comments

Vir April 20, 2021 10:37 pm - 10:37 pm

Very nicely expressed from the writer. But if I was her I wouldn’t worry. Even one really good friend is enough, 2 is a bonus, 3 a miracle. And this comes from someone who had 10 real good friends at the start of their twenties and now at the end of the twenties it’s come down to 2 maybe 3. 😊

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Shivani April 21, 2021 12:06 am - 12:06 am

Such a good read!

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Rohan April 21, 2021 12:33 am - 12:33 am

Amazing❤️❤️

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Mala April 21, 2021 6:48 am - 6:48 am

Grateful for the bond we share!
Words fall short for the unnatural connection between us even thoumiles apart! ❤️😊💕

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Shivani Khedkar April 21, 2021 9:26 am - 9:26 am

We need to think these ways in this hard times
Much love girl❤️❤️🙌

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