et’s face it, relationships are complicated and darn right challenging. If we suck at finding the “right” person, we start to question our desirableness. If we are in a relationship, there will come a time when things are not as exciting as they were. Depending on how stressful the events are over time, we question whether the connection is worth it.
Many factors contribute to the success and failure of a relationship, including a demanding career, the personalities of each person, childhood experiences, etc. While most couples overcome such challenges, there are those already on the fence and remain there looking for the green light to bail out. In other words, they are mentally and emotionally empty souls.
So, how to know if the relationship is headed for the pit?
One component of a solid relationship is caring enough about the emotional needs of your partner. When you first met, there was a different vibe, a special spark that aroused your curiosity. But over time, something changed. While it’s normal to have ebb and flow of emotional detachment from your partner, those who experience this situation on going might, these feelings might signify something worthy of paying attention to.
“At its root, emotional detachment means someone is physically present in an interaction or relationship but is not emotionally present or involved. says love coach Gemini Ferrie, “It’s like going on a big scary roller coaster but not letting yourself feel, show, or express that feeling,” He adds, “That means the person’s mind is in control of the situation, but their emotions are not allowed to participate because they are being consciously or unconsciously hidden from the self and/or another person.”
Psychologist Dr. Perpetua Neo discovered the same pattern. “When your partner is emotionally detached, it feels as though you are paddling alone in a boat that requires two people to work at it.”
A couple’s life often dwindles as the relationship passes through different stages. Many factors can impact romantic attraction like if your partner gains weight, gets older, has a negative outlook on life, or can’t perform sexually.
Some of these issues are pretty big, but if you and your partner value your bond you can work past them.
But, for those whose love is similar to wearing boots with holes in the rain, a good indicator that a relationship is doomed when the romantic thoughts, images, and feelings are no longer there. “It may seem silly to others for a woman to be upset over the lack of romance in her relationship, but the effects of no romance in a relationship can create emotional side effects. Missing romance in a relationship can cause marital disputes between couples,” writes Rachael Pace, Expert Blogger. “If your husband is not romantic or affectionate, then a lack of intimacy and romance can make you feel more like roommates than lovers.”
Now, I know you’ve heard that trust is the foundation of a long-lasting relationship, but those in a non-functional relationship might argue otherwise to protect their fleeing feelings while choosing dysfunctional behaviors or angry sex for what they consider is the recipe for a strong relationship. Once trust is gone, a couple will have to fight an extra 13 rounds to rebuild it.
Lack of arguing
You heard me right, when the two of you no longer disagree, this is a good indicator that the relationship is headed for the outskirts. Now, it seems odd that arguing is one of the formulas that keeps a relationship alive. After all, most of us think of ongoing arguing as the precursor to why the union ends.
Although this is true if the couple allows their fights to get out of hand time and again over serious matters and are unwilling to seek help, we clearly don’t advocate staying together. But we are talking about arguing between the two, where the two are unable to show respect or just don’t downright care.
“Indifference in a relationship means no longer caring what your romantic partner does in the relationship,” according to staffers at Psych Canter. They add, “Everything may seem fine on the surface because there are no arguments, but the arguments may have only stopped due to a lack of care. You may not be fighting, but it’s not because you have nothing to fight about. Instead, it’s because your partner’s words and actions no longer have an effect on you.”
Some people say there’s no luck, but they’re wrong. Chance plays a major role in our lives, and if you are lucky enough to have a solid relationship, cherish it. Don’t let the information in this article discourage you if your relationship is headed for a knockout. If you put some umph into it, there’s hope, and in the next series, we’ll look at what experts say are the best intervention to get things back on track.